To bridesmaids or not?

Venue? Checked! Caterers? Checked! Makeup artist? Checked! All the important needs of the wedding have been met. It was a rollercoaster ride of emotions shortlisting all the vendors. The next few months was taxing emotionally and physically too and I needed a few pairs of extra hands to help in settling the logistics and to keep my emotions in check. I needed the closest group of girls to be around for me, deciding on which type of flowers to choose, plan the itinerary for the big day and to stand in for me when decisions need to be made.

Choosing the right bridesmaids and popping the question!

Having the right group of bridesmaids to be part of the big day is very crucial. Firstly, this group of bridesmaids should be ready to get down and dirty to ensure my big day will be a successful one. Secondly, I’ll need to decide if my group of bridesmaids will consist of all friends or family members and do up a list to shortlist them. Next, after shortlisting them, I will need to consider the roles & responsibilities of each person. I will need a maid of honour, a lady whom I can fully trust to handle my affairs on that day. Before I delegate their individual roles & responsibilities, I will have to bear in mind the current situation they’re in – if they’re too busy with their work or family commitments or if they cannot be physically available but they can at least provide support via phone call, chat or video call.

Popping the question

bridesmaids question
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Next up will be the most exciting part of choosing bridesmaids – popping the question! Yes! Just like any proposal, planning to pop the question to the bridesmaids require a lot of time and planning too! Firstly, I needed to message them individually to check their availability for a meet up. I tried to give a specific date to meet so it will be easier to coordinate with the rest. Once the dates have been finalised, I went on to source for a venue. I would like a private and cosy place for example, hotel room or a fine dining restaurant.

I also made sure that it fits the budget I have set aside from the wedding expenditure for bridesmaids & groomsmen. Once the venue has been decided on and booked, I went out to source for gift sets for my bridesmaids to thank them in advance for devoting a part of their lives for my big day. These gift sets could be a souvenir for them to remember of my wedding or something they can wear to my wedding to identify themselves as the bridesmaids. Lastly, I informed them of the exact date & location and prior to the date, I started to order the gift sets for them.

The right gift sets for the right bridesmaids

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Gift sets can be a little tricky to put together. Many a times, a bride would want to find a gift that the bridesmaids can wear to the wedding but it may not be practical for everyday usage after the wedding. For me, personally, I wanted a personalised gift for each bridesmaid for them to wear during the wedding photoshoots, during the wedding itself, and of course for their everyday use after the wedding.

Some gift ideas I stumbled upon were identical shoes, jewellery, embroidered gift bags filled with personalised towels, etc. I finally decided on personalised pyjama sets that look very cute which they can wear after the wedding. I also chose an identical studded headband they could wear with the customised set of bridesmaid gown.

Before I went on in search for a customised set of bridesmaid gown, I did a check in with my partner on the theme he had for his groomsmen. I would not want my bridesmaids to be wearing something different from the groomsmen as it will look awkward in pictures. After brainstorming the themes, we both wanted, we settled on one – White & Classic.

It was a hard time choosing the bridesmaid gown. Many stores have so beautiful gowns that made deciding even harder. After browsing for a while, I decided to get a white kebaya top with different coloured batik sarong for my bridesmaids while my partner got classic batik shirts for his groomsmen. We chose to get ready-made outfits as we do not want to spend so much time & alteration on sending the material to be tailored. Once my bridesmaids got their outfits, I checked whether it fitted them and send those that needed a little alteration to the tailor and we got it back within a few days. With all these work going on, it was also very important to keep finances in check. Lastly, I made sure to set aside timeslots for my make-up artist to give my bridesmaids a makeover on that day.

What if someone decides not to be a bridesmaid?

There are times when circumstances change and plans made have to be changed as well. A fellow bridesmaid could have other more important commitments and not wanting to disrupt the work flow of the other bridesmaids, she decides to give up her bridesmaid duties. When this happens, firstly a bride must not flutter. It is very important to remain calm and decide on what happens next – should I choose a new bridesmaid to cover her duties or can I do with one less bridesmaid?

Next, if the bridesmaid backed out early before the orders for the gift sets are processed, is it too late to cancel her order? If it is not, be quick to make a cancellation so as to avoid wastage. If the order has already gone through, present the gift set to her as a memory of the wedding and I’ll definitely assure her that it is alright for her to focus on more important commitments and I’ll see her as a guest during the wedding.

Other issues might arise, causing one to back out being a bridesmaid. For example, one bridesmaid may not like the other bridesmaid. Issues like this should be settled in the initial stage so as not to cause bigger problems. It is very important for the bridesmaids to understand my choices and to work as a team.

The Big Day

bridesmaid duty
Image by AtemEventsDe’Laman

The big day has finally arrived and everyone has been briefed of their duties. I could enjoy my wedding day with a peace of mind knowing that everything was well taken care of. My maid-of-honour did her best job to assist with keeping my hydrated, wiping off excess perspiration and ensuring I look my best.

The other bridesmaids took care of my social media accounts, my mobile phone just in case someone calls or messages, personal photos of the weddings and made sure the guests were properly taken care of.

Choosing the right group of bridesmaids will ensure the wedding will be fuss-free and runs smoothly. Making the right choice matters.

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